Wednesday, May 02, 2007

A Little Clarification on the Penis Comment, Plus Some Good, Ol' Fashioned Bitching

So here's the story:

As I mentioned earlier, I'm looking to hire models for this summer campaign for Box. It should be really cool, we're all really excited about it, and I've already hired the female model (she's perfect, btw). Anyway, last night, I'm talking with Bunny, the EIC and I mention that I've gotten about 30 responses from men who really, really, REALLY aren't the best choices for the gig. He suggests I look for male strippers and male escorts, which I thought was a really good idea. Between the emails I had received already that evening, and the 50+CL ads I read, my guess is that I had seen about 50-60 penises.

And the thing is, they weren't even good pictures! I mean, half of them looked like they were taken with a camera phone, they were grainty, out of focus, colors that you really don't want penises to be (green, blue, purple), and some of the guys thought that by holding themselves a certain way, they'd look bigger, and three geniuses decided to take a picture of their erect monstrosities from directly above, so instead of showing any size or shape, they just look like massive nubbins.

I think CL is not the place for male models. I have to actually go to some modeling websites.

Fun little tidbits on the emails I received:
1. The same horny asshole from Cupertino emailed me three times in two days. His email read,
"How about me??

I will be in cupertino from thursday night to sunday afternoon...

want to have fun all weekend long??


See, I actually want to post his real, full name, and post the lovely pictures he sent me, just because he seems so determined. And honestly, by the look of his driver's license photo, he seems like such an animal in the sack, and the three photos he sent with three different sports cars convinces me that his dick is MASSIVE and he could pleasure me all night long. Really, I should dump The Boy and go with this guy right now.

2. Remember back in October, I mentioned I was to be interviewed by a Canadian TV program? Remember I was looking for a couple to photograph having sex while they filmed me taking pictures? No? Just trust me on this one. Anyway, I find a couple who both happen to be professional models. I'm desperate. I think, they're still a couple, they still count. The producer graciously agrees to pay their fee. They tell me hours before the shoot they can't host. I frantically make arrangements at a local motel. Again, the producer graciously agrees to pay the fee. I get my hair done about an hour before my interview, and come back to my apartment to find an email message saying they can't do the shoot. Fucking flakes.

So the male model in this duo of ineptitude? Emails me to get the Box gig. I think I'll enjoy emailing him back.

3. On guy looks almost exactly like Brad Sherwood from "Who's Line is it Anyway?" I can't decide if that freaks me out or not.

OK, enough bitching. I have hunky men to look for.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

you can always post pictures, real name and email address of offenders in m4m section of CL.
just a tought.

1:37 PM  
Blogger Samantha Wolov said...

oooh, i like that. but i'm not sure if i'm really that mean, of if i'm just all talk. let's see how today goes.

2:05 PM  
Blogger John said...

you know, dudes complaining about other dudes always end up sounding self-righteous, like they're trying to pat themselves on the back for being upstanding men and stuff, but having said that: wtf is up with guys whose first thought out of the gate is "I should send this girl a picture of my penis"?

12:35 PM  
Anonymous Vigrx said...

same emailed me many. His email read,
"How about me??

I will be in cupertino from thursday night to sunday afternoon...

want to have fun all weekend long??


6:31 AM  
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3:57 AM  

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